Froggy's Christmas (As retold in late January)

Rif ru rere rondering, ri ram rictating rhough Rawain. Translation - "If you were wondering, I am dictating through Gawain." (Gawain speaking here, as you can see, there is a need for me to interject myself into Froggy's narrative and remove the 'R's from his speech. So, these are his words, just not exactly phonetically represented.)

My Christmas started off very horribly but ended up okay.

The first horrible thing that happened was that Mommy dressed me up with a bow and a bell.

It was the most unmanly I have ever felt in my life. I'm horrified that Mommy made me take a picture.

So, in retribution I decided to tear at Santa's jugular for awhile.

Unfortunately, Santa's skin was composed of some sort of fibrous material, so I had to settle for ripping an eye off.

One of my favorite toys that I got was from my Grandma on Vespers side. It was a tiger that growls. Here is a video that Mommy took of me playing with my Tiger. It was pretty fun.

Mostly I just listened to Christmas carols and ate my special Christmas treats and passed out at 6PM. Christmas is alright.

Yes, we're blond, but that doesn't mean we're stupid...

Scene 1:

Last Sunday Gawain made fried scones for us, used a little too much oil and spilled some under the burner on the stove. Vesper, in the course of trying to move overfilled pan of oil, also spilled some under the burner. Both Vesper and Gawain, b/c said burner was still hot, forgot to clean out from under the plate after it had cooled down.

Scene 2:

Last night, Gawain turns on burner on stove with oil still under, and decides it will burn off, there isn't that much.

He then goes to get ready for his shower since he just got back from a run.

Vesper is lounging around on the couach, feeling bloaty and preggo after a long day at work. She is going to go into the kitchen and start making hashbrowns on the stove that is heating up as soon as Gawain stops talking to her and jumps in the shower.

Vesper (looking at direction of kitchen, noticing smoke and also a flickering light against the fridge): (screaming like crazy) THE KITCHEN IS ON FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gawain, who is naked from trying to jump in the shower, quickly runs after the screaming Vesper into the kitchen. Both are horrified to find a rather large fire raging off of the oily hot plate! Vesper can only think quickly (read panic) about what should be done. Gawain grabs the largest pan they have and trys to suffocate the fire, which doesn't work. Vesper wonders if they should just close the stove (it is an old oven and the stove actually fits like a drawer right under the oven), but worries the whole oven will then explode. Gawain, worried about being naked while fighting a fire, yells at Vesper to grab baking soda and pour it all over the fire. Vesper springs into action, grabs the bakng soda, and pours it all over the fire, dousing the flames.

Gawain: This makes me think about that time, in the scriptures, that that lady stabbed someone in the head and they said that she "smote" off his head. That's like you saying the kitchen is on fire, but really only the stove was on fire.

Vesper: Huh???? Our house almost burned down!!! How can you talk about that stuff at a time like this?!?!?!?!?

Gawain: (still naked) Um, I don't know, I'm jumping in the shower.

Te he our tree!!

SO


We finally assembled and decorated our Christmas tree last night!!! I am so thrilled that we actually have a tree this year. Traditionally we spend Christmas either with my parents far away and they have a giant tree or our Christmas spent here at home has been so busy that we haven't been able to think about getting a tree. Also our house is tiny and Gawain is allergic to pine trees so that hasn't helped either. Thankfully, Walgreens had a 3 foot tree for $10!! We decided it would be perfect, and here it is:

Behold the tree, both blessed and precious!

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Also, Gawain and I need to register for baby stuff very soon ( my first shower is in a month!)! What are some absolutely must have things we should register for? We are quite clueless when it comes to this whole baby thing! Isn't the UGA onesie that my sister sent me enough?