Where my girls at? From the front to back!

Once upon a time there were 5 very cute, smart, and popular blond haired blue eyed friends. They were the talk of the town and the life of every party. Every boy wanted them and every girl wanted to be them (in our minds anyway). They all eventually found guys that they allowed to marry them and there was much rejoicing. They would have only been TRULY happy if they all lived in 5 houses right in a row, but for now they would just have to find comfort and solice in their husbands/kids/pets.

Here we are in all our glory in front of our FAVORITE place RED ROBIN!

Just yummy sugar shots while we wait for our fries from RED ROBIN!

Small One about to go crazy because we aren't at RED ROBIN yet!

Flash forward about 5 years. It was now the 48th day of my (that is Vesper's) cycle and I was wondering where in the heck was my period??? I had taken a pregnancy test about a week and a half before and it had been negative (again!). I just wanted Aunt Flo to hurry up and come so I could get on with my life. On this particular morning, Gawain had gotten up to walk Froggy, and I decided that I would waste one more pregnancy test. This is what it said:

I was completely bewildered! Didn't it just say that I was't pregnant last week? I kind of walked in a fog that day and told Gawain after work. He was thrilled! I also was tricky and called Isabel to ask her who her OB/GYN was so that I would have a good one to go too. The next day I took my last pregnancy test, just to be sure. It was still positive!

A bean shaped thing growing inside Vesper that has a heartbeat!

I went to visit three of my four best girlfriends later that week. Small One looked so cute! She was pregnant with her second little boy and her 1st one was an absolute angel! Caboose also looked so happy. It been almost 4 years since I'd seen her and her 2 little boys were so cute and fun to play with. I was also extremely happy to see The Beast. She and her husband were letting me stay with them and we had a lot of fun cooking and torturing her husband (not cooking him, cooking for him!). I didn't tell them then since I hadn't had a dr. confirm that I was indeed with child, but I thought it was fun that Small One and I were pregnant at the same time.

We wish Mom could have been here to enjoy RED ROBIN with us!

A couple of months later, Small One and her hubby called to have me settle a bet for them. In the course of the phone call I let them know the "good news" and they also let me know that Mom was with child again. She hadn't been able to come to our little reunion seeing as she had just moved clear across the country and had 3 little ones and 2 huge dogs to look after. I was especially amused at her news because our due dates were within 2 weeks of each other!

A couple weeks after that, Caboose called to let me know that she was going to have a baby too! She was due only 2 days after Mom! At this, I was just like, this is SO weird!!! 4 out of 5 of us are preggers!!!!!! I would tell the Beast to hurry up and get pregnant, but she is v. busy studying v. hard at grad school to become an occupational therapist. Plus she's only got like 8 days b/c Small One is being induced on the 20th.

A crazy pregnant lady!!!!

I'm so happy for all of us! I only truly wish that we lived in five houses all in a row so that our kids could play and The Beast could do cognitive testing on all of them. That would truly be a perfect world. And also if we lived by a lake with a boat to zoom around in....

Congrats to everyone(you too Beast..I know you'll been done with school soon and that is really AWESOME!)

If only Charlie would have known about the 5 of us....he could have paid us in cute clothes and unlimited trips to RED ROBIN!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Also, Congrats to Isabel on getting her own column! I'm excited to read her words of wisdom!

Flight of the Phoenix

To commemorate going to the 12:01AM showing of “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix” at the IMAX theater in Seattle I decided to keep a running journal of the evenings events. (ala Bill Simmons) Between the beautiful weather, using a flex car convertible Mini Cooper, Jihan and Staton joining us, and the rabid Harry Potter fans I had high hopes for an entertaining evening. (As a note I would like to point out that all of the driving portions of this journal were recorded after the fact.) (To view all the photos from this night's adventures visit Flickr)

8:00 PM – Left the house for the movie. Still feeling a bit surly from my nap. It feels like it might be one of those times where it takes a couple of hours to shake it off.

8:06 PM – Just noticed that our car has an ungodly amount of sap on it. Why do some trees pee so much?

8:30 PM – Finally got into the car. I think Vesper may start lactating she is so excited for the Mini Cooper. (She has wanted to buy one FOREVER and this is the first time that we have ever driven one.) 8:50 PM - Just passed one of our favorite store front displays on 99. Behold! The lightup wheelchair! 8:56 PM – Almost caused an accident taking a picture of Vesper driving the Mini Cooper. For some reason on the one picture I decide to take straight on of her the flash goes off, momentarily blinding her.

9:03 PM – This is one of those warm summer nights where the air just feels wonderful.

9:08 PM – Still feeling surly. I’m not sure what it’s going to take to pull me out of this.

9:21 PM – Listening to “Black Holes and Revelations” by Muse on 4th and Seneca downtown with the top down. The air temperature 87 degrees, a warm breeze is blowing, and the city looks beautiful. It doesn’t get much better than this.

9:28 PM – Got back to the Flexcar spot in time and the gas gauge is just this side of a quarter full. Love it when that happens.

9:37 PM – While driving from Belltown to Seattle Center Vesper squeals and noticed that they’ve turned the 7-11 into a Kwik-E Mart. 9:46 PM – Back at the Kwik-E Mart taking pictures. I can’t believe how much glee I’m getting from a bunch of cut-outs of Simpsons characters and Krusty-O’s cereal. 9:52 PM – We are in line at the IMAX and raring to go. We can’t wait until Jihan and Staton get here. Their ETA is currently 11PM. 9:56 PM – Some dufus in plain clothes is walking up and down the line trying to sell pizzas in unmarked boxes. $1 for an entire pizza. $.25 for a slice. No thanks. I prefer a sedate and orderly digestive tract.

10:02 PM – Got antsy and walked up to the front of the line. The 2 girls in front got here at 3:30 this afternoon, when it was still 93 degrees outside. (The temperature would be like if Topeka had a high temp of 783 degrees. This heat is just unheard of prior to August) They said they were the only ones in the line until 5PM or so. 10:06-10:15 PM – Walking around taking pictures. There is a very Halloween feel to a lot of the female costume wearers tonight. The theme seems to be “Slaggy Hogwarts Girl Extraordinaire”.

10:18 PM - Is that a seance?

10:23 PM – Just got done speaking with Jamie. She’s the one in the red Gryffindor Quidditch robes, Quidditch arm guards, sweet broom, goggles, Gryffindor sweater and boots. Let me tell you, they teach some good things at the drama department a Western Washington University. She made everything on her body except the Gryffindor patch on her robes and the goggles. - Broom: Walking stick procured from her Scout master father combined with straightened wreaths from Jo-Ann’s.
- Arm Guards: Made them from scratch herself.
- Robe: Bought a sewing machine for the express purpose of making these robes.
- Sweater: Knitted it herself.
- Simply an insane amount of time poured into a Harry Potter outfit.

10:30 PM – We have our first tired tuckus alert. Had to run back to the car to get a jacket for Vesper to sit on. My underlying surliness is still present. I’ve been awake for 3 ½ hours.

10:46 PM – Vesper is bored enough to make videos on my cell phone of us disapparating. (Here they are on YouTube -- Vesper – Gawain) Surliness, petulance, and impatience are unleashed. Glad the Vesper loves me enough to put up with my crap. The movies turn out pretty well though.

10:50 PM – We have identified a Class-1 Alpha-Bitch directly behind us in line. We cannot understand why none of her teeny-bopper friends is pimp-slapping her.

10:55 PM – Everyone starts cheering as line the begins to move, then stands around for 13 minutes to wait for the line to move again.

10:57 PM – Apparently Jihan and Staton feel asleep and lost track of the time. They are just leaving Bellevue for Seattle now.

10:59 PM – Determine that no matter what it is time for the surliness to depart.

11:07 PM – Alpha-Bitch’s toy wand sounds suspiciously like a light saber when swished and flicked.

11:08 PM – Line starts moving for real. Surliness gone, a blessing for everyone involved.

11:10 PM – Going to a movie at IMAX is so much more fun than going to a regular theater. Since they don’t show feature films very often, when they do they go all out. (See pictures below) The decorations, staff and facilities, were awesome. It’s also very nice to be able to listen to real music and not have to watch the same stupid ‘20’ before the movie. 11:15 PM – Vesper and I have to split. She’ll wait for J&S outside while I go and find seats.

11:18 PM – That was quick. J&S have arrived.

11:20 PM – I have finally ceased to sweat.

11:30 PM – These IMAX 3D glasses are righteous! 11:45 PM – I may have knocked over my popcorn, glasses, and almost the soda; but I caught a Dumbledore’s Army hat for my love.

11:50 PM – Wow. The stats on this (and I imagine all) IMAX theater are impressive. All figures are for Order of the Phoenix.
- 12,000 watts of sound.
- 18 miles of film
- The film weights 1,000 lbs.
- The screen is 6 stories high.

12:01 AM – The previews begin.

12:03 AM – I almost feel nauseous watching this “Dinosaurs Alive” preview in 3D. Seriously disorienting.

12:05 AM – Okay. Now I’m used to it.

12:06 AM – The movie has begun!!

2:24 AM – The movie is over. Overall it was great. The entire trip to and fight at the Ministry of Magic was in 3D. Once I got used to the 3D it was pretty incredible. The threstrals looked kind of funky in 3D though.

3:04:23 AM – Climb on top of bed and underneath ceiling fan.

3:04:27 AM – Fast asleep.

6:15AM – Please kill me! Don't make me wake up! I want to die!

¿Cuanto tiempo deben esperar para tener el bullfight?

How long do you wait after a divorce to start dating again? How long should it be until you share a romantic relationship?

As previously chronicled Gordo and I have been friends since childhood. During our time as friends he has had various and sundry lady friends, but none that really took that well. He dated quite voluminously in High School and directly thereafter. But, since he never was much for books and school he didn't go off to college right away. And, as time wore on, he found less and less amorous ladies around that weren't drunken whore-beasts or that did not offend his delicate optical sensibilities. This dearth of opportunity (aided in small part by school and work) lead him to leave Washington and go to school in Arizona, and afterwards, live and work in LA.

(Gordo and I when we were 16ish. Check out the fantasitc amounts of zits! And don't worry, those are just brownies in Gordo's teeth. Not dung.)

Through telephone conversations during his time in the Southwest, things did not get any better for Gordo. In fact, it is fairly obvious that life in general (especially social life) worsened. During his year in Arizona he did not meet anyone he even put an effort towards and in LA he wound up with Inquisition; a recovering alcoholic / nymphomaniac / head case that he stuck with due to frustration and loneliness. That had to be the worst relationship of his life. They would fight, frolic, and frustrate each other all the time. He would have to deal with her head games and trying to help her with her addictive personality. Don't get me wrong. I'm not viewing Gordo through rose-colored glasses here. He has his fair share of kinks like the rest of us. But, long story short, things crashed and burned with him and Inquisition. After a couple of years of personal hardship he came back home.

(Gordo is on the left. Look at the fear in his eyes! In that moment he is seeing his future with Inquisition. Also, look at my mighty fine stainless steel crowns.)

Gordo is lucky that, though he came from a crazy family, he came from a very good family. When he got back to Seattle he started spending a lot of time with his brother the Snake and wife Mindy. Gordo was Mindy's favorite brother-in-law. She also had a best friend Ginger who was in need of a good friend at the time. So, around March of this year, she started having both of them come over at the same time. As I'm sure you have guessed they got along and started to hang out on their own more and more, much to Mindy's delight.

(Ginger playing the lusty queen of the forest)

Now, the reason that Ginger was in need of a good friend was that she was in the middle of a divorce. Late last year her husband told her that he had been seeing other people (naked) for quite some time and wanted a divorce. Now, I haven't asked her myself for obvious reasons, but I imagine that this was crushing, devastating, infuriating, rage inducing, and harrowing to Ginger. They had been married for 3-4 years and she had no idea of his infidelities until he just laid it on her. Luckily they didn't have any children together.

So, Ginger's need of a good friend, and Gordo's need of a good friend and wholesome companionship worked out extremely well. Over time their bond has just deepened. Gordo has told me more than once that he has never hung out with a member of the opposite sex that he could just sit and talk to until all wee hours of the morning. Someone with whom he could share stimulating conversation and who shared so many of the same interests. Someone with whom he was at home with. It is quite obvious when Vesper and I hang out with them that if Ginger wasn't in the middle of a divorce they would be together. They really care for each other, a lot. But, since they aren't down with any degree of adultery they are sticking hard to their friendship game plan until after the divorce is finalized.

(Ginger with her mama)

So, this brings us back to the million dollar question. Vesper and I have discussed this but to no avail. How long should Gordo and Ginger wait after her divorce is official (August 15th) to become romantically involved? The letter of the law states 2.5 seconds after the court makes the divorce official they are free since she is free. But I have to imagine that social pressure may dictate otherwise. Yet, she has been estranged from her ex-hubby 9 months and her and Gordo have cultivated their bond for close to 4. How long will it take her parents to be okay with another man? I frankly have no idea. All of this discussion could be a moot point if, regardless of all of the signs, she is not ready for a romantic relationship. But, since they spend just about every free moment together and unconsciously do lots of leaning together, innocent hand / arm touching, and other couple-like things I don't feel that's the case. I guess only time will tell.

(Ah to be young and ignorant of the vicissitudes of life. From left to right; Daddy Gordo, Mama Gordo, Gawain, Gordo, Coach B)

El Gordo! El Gordo!

El Gordo paid us a visit last night.
El Gordo has been a friend of mine since about the age of 8. His family moved and then we commenced to grow up in the same general neighborhood, go to the same school, and go to the same church. Our friendship wasn't manlove at first site. We were generally friendly to each other during the early years. That really didn't change until we both started attending an early morning church class before school each day our freshman year of high school. Forged in the fog of 4 years of 6AM theological study, a real friendship was born. This grew threw typical high school deeds of eggings, toilet paperings, costume parties, dances, conquests of the opposite sex, sunday school, and sports.
As life is wont to do, the fall after we graduated from high school geography got in the way of our friendship. I moved away to go attend college, he decided to be a missionary for 2 years, then a year later I decided to be a missionary for 2 years. So, for the next 3 years we really didn't see each other at all and were limited to exchanging letters whilst out proselyting. So, in aught-three we were finally both back home for awhile and you know what? It was like we had never left. I do believe that at that point we went from really good friends to "willing to do just about anything for each" other friends. Over the next couple of years he was the best man at my wedding and we did something together a couple of times every week. Then, the nomad gene started to kick in for him. He was 23, living in his hometown, and didn't really like school or the job that he had. So, he went of to sound effects/recording school in Phoenix. He was in Arizona for a year then went off to Los Angeles to get into the movie business. Only, there was a problem, it turns out that he hated LA and didn't really like all of the grunt work that comes with working on the sound for movies and TV. (He just liked sound effects) Long story short (believe it or not, this is the SUPER short version of this story) he got his wits about him and decided to move home. He could find better work up here, his family and good friends are up here, there are many more fun things to do here. He arrived in back home a couple of nights ago. (with stops in Vegas and Utah to "see" some old friends on the way back) Vesper and I were pretty excited he was back in town and had him over for a BBQ and egg decorating last night. And the funny thing about real friends is how even though they've been gone for years at a time. It's like they never left. The warmth, the humor and the comfort of being in the same company is still there. Welcome home El Gordo. Welcome home.