Vesper's Tears of Laughter

Gordo came over to see Professor X and bring over the usual presents and offerings of joy and good will. As wonderful and darling as the presents from him and his parents were, the truly magical gift he brought was a DVD culled from a video tape of a 1989 performance that we were both a part of.

In the second grade my class put on a 50's and 60's musical spectacular for the school and our parents. I distinctly remember 3-4 performances over the course of a week or so. One was just for parents, another for the 6th graders (We were much more somber for that performance) I remember truly enjoying the practices and performances. Who wouldn't have fun when 8 years old singing and dancing around to such greats as "Going to the Chapel", "A Little Help From My Friends", "My Guy", "Yesterday", "My Boyfriend's Back" and "It's My Party". Vesper could not stop laughing through the entire video. It was very touch and go for awhile with Vesper's post pregnancy/labor incontinence issues. We (and the couch) were very happy that her strong will overcame her weak bladder.
I was, um, quite enthusiastic about the performance and was easily the most demonstrative of the Ricettes. But poor Gordo just wasn't into it. You can tell the little guy would have loved to be just about anywhere else in the world. Keep in mind that Gordo's parents took this video I was so crazy and out of control that they couldn't help but turn the camera onto me.

(Gordo is the shy one in the white circle, and Gawain is in the Orange circle. You know, the tall kid in khakis that is gyrating around the stage with reckless abandon. Trust us...the video is worth the slight load time.)

The X-Man has arrived!

I thought that we should take this time to announce the arrival of X-man into the world. Vesper valiantly delivered him at 1:47 AM on March 28th after 25 hours and 47 minutes of labor. (Now all of you know not to mess with Vesper...she'll outlast you any day) I believe the common information to provide is that he weighted in at 8lbs 15.6oz and was 21 inches long. I'm sure Vesper will write a bit later concerning the labor and the new man in our lives. But...in the mean time, please take time to enjoy these pictures.

I Guess I'm "It"

I (and Vesper if she is game) have had the honor of been tagged by Marie. As she so aptly put it, I now have the honor being tremendously boring to all 3 readers of this blog by providing "Seven random things about myself that you neither know nor care to know". So, without further boring adieu...

1) I have an unnervingly addictive personality. Really, at times it scares me. I often praise the powers of the universe that I was raised to never go near addictive substances or practices. Unless you count Hot Tamales as an addictive substance.

2) My mother's pet name for me is scoombeata. (Pronounced scoom-bee-ah-tah) The first syllable of that phonetic mess rhymes with zoom. In her defense her and her 2 younger siblings have developed a vast and mysterious vocabulary over the years of make believe words. So, I think she just applied this language skill to give pet-names to each of her children. Or our nicknames were derived from the sounds she made while we were crowning during the birth process. I can just she her screaming my nickname primevally with flecks of spit flying from her violet-hued face.

3) All four of my first molars came in without enamel. So, I have four fancy crowns in my mouth. (Too bad it's not my front teeth so I can't put together any oral bling.)

4) I used to hate eating chicken so much that when I was younger I faked that I was allergic to it by making strange sounds in my throat every time we ate it. This worked for a year or so. When my mother finally saw through that and I was forced to stay at the table until I had finished my chicken dinner I would wait until my mother's back was turned and stuff as much chicken as I could into the tracks underneath the table before she turned back around. Eventually I learned to overcome my hatred and completely forgot about the chicken that I had crammed underneath the table. That is, until around 10 years later when my mother was under the table trying to figure out why it wouldn't close back up after being expanded for Thanksgiving and found the petrified pieces of chicken.

5) In the summer between 8th grade and high school I was playing for a traveling, select sort of basketball team that had George Karl's son Koby on the squad. As neat as it was to be on the same team as somebody who is now in the NBA (who at the time was 2 years younger and rarely got into games) the real point of this numbered point is that my team did not qualify for nationals so I quit the team to start playing summer ball with my soon to be high school team. Well, the coach (who was excellent friends with and future agent of George Karl) did not take too kindly to this and got George Karl to "talk" to me about commitment and how I should stay with the team throughout the summer. This turned into an on again, off again feud between George Karl, myself, and the coach over the summer. I was even used an example of how spoiled and shitty, I mean, spoiled and entitled young basketball players are in Karl's book "This Game's the Best: So Why Don't They Quit Screwing With It". (You can even read my father's response to the book. It's the second comment on the page.) Though the disappointing thing is that the story in the book is obviously me, it is 75% false. I've been kicking around whether or not to blog about this story in detail for the last 8 months or so but have decided that it's really quite silly to drag their names through the ineffectual and unimportant mud of my blog so long after the fact, and for no good reason. (Though I do have a snappy title for the blog waiting to be edited on blogger "If This Game's the Best: Why Lie About It.)

6) I've been in the same room as my parents when...well...you know. (In their defense they must have thought I was asleep...though the memory is seared DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPLY into my consciousness. Not in their defense, it was a hotel room and I was 12 years old. I have NOT considered writing a blog about this "experience")

7) When I was in sixth grade, like most sixth grade boys, I was fascinated by fire. Unlike most sixth grade boys I would carry around in my jacket pocket various flammable liquids. Such as nasty old perfume samples lifted from my father's drawer or different aerosols. I was so bored in class one day that I raised my hand and asked to go to the bathroom. Once inside the bathroom I pulled the plastic garbage can away from the wall, grabbed some paper towels, doused them in musky cologne and put a lighter to them and walked out of the door back to class. When the embers of the garbage can were found on the floor of the bathroom the teachers at school placed the blame immediately upon my troubled class mate Dave. He had a history of such shinanagans (and to be fair, I did too, but I was just clever enough never to get caught) and he had used the restroom earlier that day. Though I had used the same restroom I was never questioned an certainly never volunteered any information. It's been long enough now that I don't feel too guilty about it and actually chuckle a bit at the experience...but that doesn't change the fact that I'm a coward for not speaking up.

Well, there you have it. My tagging has been fulfilled. And since I don't believe in passing along chain blogs I will not tag 7 others so thy have to go through this same exercise like some people we know.

Our Ride On the Magic Mitt Mobile

While in Florida on January 22nd of this year Vesper's dad took us to hear Mitt Romney give a speech at the Jewish Republican Coalition in Boca Raton. Like I'm sure most politicians are, Mitt Romney was quite convincing. (Though, I must say I was quite impressed the Mr. Romney did not refer to notes of any kind during his 45 minutes speech and subsequent question and answer session. I know that such facts have zero baring on his fitness to be President, but worth noting none the less) As interesting as this Jewish political gathering we were a part of was (being not Jewish) that is not what this blog is about. This blog is about what took place after the formal speech. (As a side bar - Vesper and I are still quite ambivalent about which candidate(s) we really like or want to vote for. But Vesper's father on the other hand loves Mitt Romney with a love that will not die, nor will it fade. He hosts phone banks at his home to call other registered republicans in the states that are holding primaries soon to try and persuade them to vote for Mitt. The campaign provides prepaid cellular phones, call lists, and scripts) After the speech, some area campaign rep. comes up to Flint (Vesper's dad) and asks him if he would be willing to drive the Mitt Mobile up to the Orlando area. "The Governor" (the fact that the campaign referred to Mitt as "The Governor" every time he was mentioned was a highlight of the day) was taking a flight up to do some more campaigning, but the Mitt Mobile still needed to get up north. Flint said that he had to work but that Vesper and I weren't doing anything so we'd be able to. After talking it over, and initially resisting, we talked about it and Vesper had friends that she wanted to see in Orlando anyways so we agreed to make the 2 1/2 hour drive north up the turn pike.

After speaking with a higher up Mitt Romney campaign rep and getting instructions on where and how to pick up the Mitt Mobile (the Mitt Mobile will further more be referred to as the "MM" to stave off the inevitable onset of carpal tunnel) I envisioned a quick get away so we would have time to make it to Orlando before rush hour traffic and see Vesper's friend before her 3 little ones had to get to bed. This was most certainly not to be. First, we found out there was an appointment to get the oil changed on the MM. That took a good 40 minutes of our time. Then Flint just about begged us to bring the MM by his work so he could take pictures. That cost us another 30 minutes. Now, I must admit, though my heart was blackening by the second with the delays it was a treat to see the huge goofy smile on Flint's face. I haven't seen such a look of joy on his face in quite some time. (He celebrated by lifting a bunch of incidental paraphernalia from the MM) Lastly, and most necessarily, we had to swing by Vesper's folks' place to grab some gear for the road trip. We were in our best and spit-shined from the earlier rally/speech, and that is no state to be in for a road trip. That cost us another half hour.
Now, I would be lying if I didn't say that when we stopped over to get our things for the trip if we didn't stop and make a thorough tour of the MM and catalog everything that we saw.

The above sticker is what greets any visitor upon entering the MM. The thing that made me laugh in this picture were the children's toys in the open cupboards. (Notice the red "Eragon" book) I also thought it was neat he had one of his dad's campaign stickers displayed prominently.

Vesper and I survived mostly on the contents of the small kitchenette that was part of the MM. Though the fridge contained amazingly rancid feta cheese, the rest of the stock was pretty good, and mostly non-perishable.

Have you ever tried to imagine the splendor of the campaign trail? The opulence that the candidates lavish upon themselves whilst lying to the masses? Well, here it is. The master (and only) suite in the MM.


Of course, I couldn't pass up on a shot of the bathroom. Do you notice a flushing mechanism in this picture? I didn't either the first time I gazed upon this washroom, but I was full to bursting so I utilized the room regardless. Well, poor Vesper had to use the facilities later on as well, and as horrible as the smell was in there, I can't help but believe she was secretly very thankful I only engaged in numero uno. (She then proceeded to show me a foot pedal that flushed the toilet. My RV rank was revoked to novice.)

We greatly enjoyed the patriotic air fresheners.

Here is an example of what Flint made off with earlier in the narrative and a very fat looking hand.

Here is where Vesper and I spent the majority of our time on the trip. The amazing cabin of the MM that did not have adjustable chairs. (Let's just say that my pelvis probably could have handled steering duties) Though we did not utilize the TV or the DVD/VCR combo we were entertained by the small figures in the middle of the picture. Can you see them on the dashboard? Need a closer look? Well...here you are.

A Mitt Romney bobble head doll and a bizzare alligator head. I'm not sure if they are supposed to be some sort of commentary on his campaign or his relationship with the press, or perhaps his intentions upon winning the presidency, but anyway you cut it...it's just a tad disturbing. (Also, later on we discovered that Flint has the same bobble head on his desk at work)

Well, when we finally hit the turnpike we figured out why the Romney campaign folks didn't want to make the drive themselves, and were so gracious and thankful when we volunteered to do it. The MM reeled to and fro like a drunken man dropped upon burning coals covered in glass shards and angry piranhas. I kept checking out the trees along the turnpike to ensure that we weren't in the midst of a strong, swirling gale. I also often checked the road to make sure that there weren't any treacherous ruts that were the culprit of our cyclonic sloshing, but there were neither. The MM was simply a hurtling bullet of death and Vesper, our unborn/yet to be fake named child, and I were the gun powder. (If we extend this comparison I suppose the Mitt Romney campaign staffers were the cowards that pulled the trigger.) Though I soon acquired my sea legs Vesper was very tense to downright panicked at times during the trip. Much of the turnpike was under construction and the lanes would narrow or become difficult to navigate. The MM had about 6 inches of clearance on each side going through the toll booths. Also, we would somehow forget at times we were in a garishly painted campaign RV and be startled from time to time when folks would honk manically and wave their limbs at us.
After 90 minutes of the turnpike we mercifully pulled into a rest area to fill up the MM and get some treats. I had to disappoint a couple of different folks who asked if Mitt himself, or one of his sons was on the RV. After putting close to $200 dollars worth of gas into the MM we were off again.
As we neared Orlando we began to get a tad nervous. A campaign staffer was to call us with directions to where specifically we were to drop off the MM and we kept getting passed back and forth between staffers. After many nervous calls and rapidly diminishing patience we finally got a hold of the right person and he gave us the directions we needed. It wasn't that far, but we had to get through the heart of Orlando in rush hour, and it ended up taking an additional hour and a half. By the time we finally go to the Ramada (or whichever forsaken hotel we ended up at) we were absolutely toast. Again, the campaign rep that met us at the forsaken hotel was very gracious and full of the feral energy that only the converted possess. She kept talking about how she was only getting 2-3 hours of sleep now that the Florida primary was so soon, and all I kept thinking was how silly it seemed to give so much life for a political candidate. But, I suppose I should be happy for her since she found a candidate she can believe in so completely.

Can you see the great fatigue in our countenances?

We soon got our blessedly small rental car after dropping off the MM and had a splendidly relaxing dinner and evening alone. Unfortunately we were now over an hour away from Vesper's friend's home, so we rescheduled for breakfast the next day and wrapped up the day checking into a Holiday Inn or our own east of Kissimmee, were I proceeded to drink Vesper's contacts and contact solution the next morning. But that is a story for another day.
All in all I'm not sure what word I would used to describe the experience that we had transporting the MM. Exhausting would probably be the most apt one. It also felt a bit strange to talk about the campaign and pass out Mitt Romney stickers to those who asked since I really didn't (and don't) care one way or the other if he wins the nomination. I guess I felt like I was play acting, or deceiving these folks a little bit. I never said anything pro or con Romney (though the thought did cross my mind to be negative for the shock value of it), but it still felt like I was somewhat of a proxy for "The Governor" during the 5 1/2 hours we were in possession of the MM. Despite all of that, at least Vesper and I got a day that we will never forget instead of sitting around her parents house all day.

THE MUSIC WAS SO LOUD I PUKED ALL OVER MYSELF!!

This week was officially Harry Potter week for Vesper and I. We saw the new movie and events on Tuesday night, and on Friday the 13th (insert scream here) we attended a Harry and the Potters wizard rock show at the Seattle Public Library with Isabel, The King, and Baboo. Also attending were a couple of my old coworkers and their friends. So, with our group of 10 we were set to help battle the forces of evil, namely, Lord Voldemort.

To ensure top performance and enjoyment of the show Vesper and I met Isabel, The King, and Baboo at the Westlake Center foodcourt. After fueling up we then made the 5 block stroll to the Library. The doors opened for the show (Which was in a library! How cool is that?) at 7pm and we arrived at 6:30PM. The line was already starting to snake around the building by the time we got there.

There were the usual cast of dressed up characters in attendance. From the Professor McGonagall hand puppet to a pair of fully garbed house elves. I guess it only makes sense since all 700-800 of us were there to see a trio of rockers dressed up like Harry Potter 4th year, Harry Potter 7th year, and baby Hagrid. Once we got inside while merchandise was being purchased and the crowd was waiting for the show to begin I wandered around and took some pictures.

(I know that this isn't a Harry Potter get-up, but I enjoyed the sperm guitars attempting to impregnate a LP)

(Vesper and I both appreciated that this kid even nailed the Stan Shunpike expression)

The Seattle Public library is a great venue to have a show. The main floor that we were all on is a series of diamond windows (I'm sure there's a proper word for the structure, but I don't know it) and our beautiful city was the backdrop for the show. Now, I know Harry and the Potters plays shows in libraries and other civic buildings all over the country, but I have to imagine that there is no better venue, or crowd (they mentioned it was their largest of this tour) they encounter.

(One view of the city. On many of the other shots taken within the library, you can see the city in the background.)

(The crowd milling around before the show.)

After a while chants of "Harry, Harry" began to break out and before long everyone's wizard heroes emerged on stage.

As you can see the Harrys emerged in full Hogwarts gear. Their opening number was "Voldermort Can't Stop the Rock". After the opener they had a "2 year old baby Hargrid" join them on the drums to fill out their 3-piece punk group. Due to the immense wizard heat they were putting off the sweaters were quickly shed and madness, only the likes of which you see when a rock show is played in a library, ensued.

(Notice the mic chord wrapped around the head of the Harry on the left)

If pictures aren't enough for you we even took a couple of quick videos with our camera. The sound was removed because it was all fuzz. (This show was LOUD. And, like all mediocre sound systems, the treble was far too high. The high-hat and crash cymbal were out for blood...dribbling from our ear drums.) Video

Isabel and family took off about an hour into the show because, quite frankly, Baboo was uber-tired and I'm sure that the piercing treble was not good for his tender little ears. But, those who stuck around (Us and my old coworkers) were in for quite the treat. Seeking to live up to the good Harry Potter name, the Harrys stuck around a signed merchandise and took photos with those who were patient enough to get to them, and not bothered by sweaty fake wizards.

(From left to right: Ms. Logic, Vesper, HP4, Gawain)

(Note from Vesper: How cool for HP4 that he is having people clamoring for his autograph and a picture! How cool for us, his fans, that we actually get to meet one of the lead singers of a band, get an autograph, and get a pic taken! I bet I could never in my lifetime get to do that with The Edge.)

All in all the show was a grand time. Lots of crowd participation, and humorous lyrics based on the books. If you have read the Harry Potter books and Harry and the Potters ever make it to your neck of the woods, attendance is a must. You will have a blast.

(From left to right: Ms Logic, Vesper, Gawain, Meg, Phinneas, Vivika, Matthew. And honestly, the person who took this picture is lame. Who doesn't get the entire name of the library?)

Flight of the Phoenix

To commemorate going to the 12:01AM showing of “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix” at the IMAX theater in Seattle I decided to keep a running journal of the evenings events. (ala Bill Simmons) Between the beautiful weather, using a flex car convertible Mini Cooper, Jihan and Staton joining us, and the rabid Harry Potter fans I had high hopes for an entertaining evening. (As a note I would like to point out that all of the driving portions of this journal were recorded after the fact.) (To view all the photos from this night's adventures visit Flickr)

8:00 PM – Left the house for the movie. Still feeling a bit surly from my nap. It feels like it might be one of those times where it takes a couple of hours to shake it off.

8:06 PM – Just noticed that our car has an ungodly amount of sap on it. Why do some trees pee so much?

8:30 PM – Finally got into the car. I think Vesper may start lactating she is so excited for the Mini Cooper. (She has wanted to buy one FOREVER and this is the first time that we have ever driven one.) 8:50 PM - Just passed one of our favorite store front displays on 99. Behold! The lightup wheelchair! 8:56 PM – Almost caused an accident taking a picture of Vesper driving the Mini Cooper. For some reason on the one picture I decide to take straight on of her the flash goes off, momentarily blinding her.

9:03 PM – This is one of those warm summer nights where the air just feels wonderful.

9:08 PM – Still feeling surly. I’m not sure what it’s going to take to pull me out of this.

9:21 PM – Listening to “Black Holes and Revelations” by Muse on 4th and Seneca downtown with the top down. The air temperature 87 degrees, a warm breeze is blowing, and the city looks beautiful. It doesn’t get much better than this.

9:28 PM – Got back to the Flexcar spot in time and the gas gauge is just this side of a quarter full. Love it when that happens.

9:37 PM – While driving from Belltown to Seattle Center Vesper squeals and noticed that they’ve turned the 7-11 into a Kwik-E Mart. 9:46 PM – Back at the Kwik-E Mart taking pictures. I can’t believe how much glee I’m getting from a bunch of cut-outs of Simpsons characters and Krusty-O’s cereal. 9:52 PM – We are in line at the IMAX and raring to go. We can’t wait until Jihan and Staton get here. Their ETA is currently 11PM. 9:56 PM – Some dufus in plain clothes is walking up and down the line trying to sell pizzas in unmarked boxes. $1 for an entire pizza. $.25 for a slice. No thanks. I prefer a sedate and orderly digestive tract.

10:02 PM – Got antsy and walked up to the front of the line. The 2 girls in front got here at 3:30 this afternoon, when it was still 93 degrees outside. (The temperature would be like if Topeka had a high temp of 783 degrees. This heat is just unheard of prior to August) They said they were the only ones in the line until 5PM or so. 10:06-10:15 PM – Walking around taking pictures. There is a very Halloween feel to a lot of the female costume wearers tonight. The theme seems to be “Slaggy Hogwarts Girl Extraordinaire”.

10:18 PM - Is that a seance?

10:23 PM – Just got done speaking with Jamie. She’s the one in the red Gryffindor Quidditch robes, Quidditch arm guards, sweet broom, goggles, Gryffindor sweater and boots. Let me tell you, they teach some good things at the drama department a Western Washington University. She made everything on her body except the Gryffindor patch on her robes and the goggles. - Broom: Walking stick procured from her Scout master father combined with straightened wreaths from Jo-Ann’s.
- Arm Guards: Made them from scratch herself.
- Robe: Bought a sewing machine for the express purpose of making these robes.
- Sweater: Knitted it herself.
- Simply an insane amount of time poured into a Harry Potter outfit.

10:30 PM – We have our first tired tuckus alert. Had to run back to the car to get a jacket for Vesper to sit on. My underlying surliness is still present. I’ve been awake for 3 ½ hours.

10:46 PM – Vesper is bored enough to make videos on my cell phone of us disapparating. (Here they are on YouTube -- Vesper – Gawain) Surliness, petulance, and impatience are unleashed. Glad the Vesper loves me enough to put up with my crap. The movies turn out pretty well though.

10:50 PM – We have identified a Class-1 Alpha-Bitch directly behind us in line. We cannot understand why none of her teeny-bopper friends is pimp-slapping her.

10:55 PM – Everyone starts cheering as line the begins to move, then stands around for 13 minutes to wait for the line to move again.

10:57 PM – Apparently Jihan and Staton feel asleep and lost track of the time. They are just leaving Bellevue for Seattle now.

10:59 PM – Determine that no matter what it is time for the surliness to depart.

11:07 PM – Alpha-Bitch’s toy wand sounds suspiciously like a light saber when swished and flicked.

11:08 PM – Line starts moving for real. Surliness gone, a blessing for everyone involved.

11:10 PM – Going to a movie at IMAX is so much more fun than going to a regular theater. Since they don’t show feature films very often, when they do they go all out. (See pictures below) The decorations, staff and facilities, were awesome. It’s also very nice to be able to listen to real music and not have to watch the same stupid ‘20’ before the movie. 11:15 PM – Vesper and I have to split. She’ll wait for J&S outside while I go and find seats.

11:18 PM – That was quick. J&S have arrived.

11:20 PM – I have finally ceased to sweat.

11:30 PM – These IMAX 3D glasses are righteous! 11:45 PM – I may have knocked over my popcorn, glasses, and almost the soda; but I caught a Dumbledore’s Army hat for my love.

11:50 PM – Wow. The stats on this (and I imagine all) IMAX theater are impressive. All figures are for Order of the Phoenix.
- 12,000 watts of sound.
- 18 miles of film
- The film weights 1,000 lbs.
- The screen is 6 stories high.

12:01 AM – The previews begin.

12:03 AM – I almost feel nauseous watching this “Dinosaurs Alive” preview in 3D. Seriously disorienting.

12:05 AM – Okay. Now I’m used to it.

12:06 AM – The movie has begun!!

2:24 AM – The movie is over. Overall it was great. The entire trip to and fight at the Ministry of Magic was in 3D. Once I got used to the 3D it was pretty incredible. The threstrals looked kind of funky in 3D though.

3:04:23 AM – Climb on top of bed and underneath ceiling fan.

3:04:27 AM – Fast asleep.

6:15AM – Please kill me! Don't make me wake up! I want to die!