Thursday, July 5, 2007

¿Cuanto tiempo deben esperar para tener el bullfight?

How long do you wait after a divorce to start dating again? How long should it be until you share a romantic relationship?

As previously chronicled Gordo and I have been friends since childhood. During our time as friends he has had various and sundry lady friends, but none that really took that well. He dated quite voluminously in High School and directly thereafter. But, since he never was much for books and school he didn't go off to college right away. And, as time wore on, he found less and less amorous ladies around that weren't drunken whore-beasts or that did not offend his delicate optical sensibilities. This dearth of opportunity (aided in small part by school and work) lead him to leave Washington and go to school in Arizona, and afterwards, live and work in LA.

(Gordo and I when we were 16ish. Check out the fantasitc amounts of zits! And don't worry, those are just brownies in Gordo's teeth. Not dung.)
Through telephone conversations during his time in the Southwest, things did not get any better for Gordo. In fact, it is fairly obvious that life in general (especially social life) worsened. During his year in Arizona he did not meet anyone he even put an effort towards and in LA he wound up with Inquisition; a recovering alcoholic / nymphomaniac / head case that he stuck with due to frustration and loneliness. That had to be the worst relationship of his life. They would fight, frolic, and frustrate each other all the time. He would have to deal with her head games and trying to help her with her addictive personality. Don't get me wrong. I'm not viewing Gordo through rose-colored glasses here. He has his fair share of kinks like the rest of us. But, long story short, things crashed and burned with him and Inquisition. After a couple of years of personal hardship he came back home.

(Gordo is on the left. Look at the fear in his eyes! In that moment he is seeing his future with Inquisition. Also, look at my mighty fine stainless steel crowns.)
Gordo is lucky that, though he came from a crazy family, he came from a very good family. When he got back to Seattle he started spending a lot of time with his brother the Snake and wife Mindy. Gordo was Mindy's favorite brother-in-law. She also had a best friend Ginger who was in need of a good friend at the time. So, around March of this year, she started having both of them come over at the same time. As I'm sure you have guessed they got along and started to hang out on their own more and more, much to Mindy's delight.

(Ginger playing the lusty queen of the forest)

Now, the reason that Ginger was in need of a good friend was that she was in the middle of a divorce. Late last year her husband told her that he had been seeing other people (naked) for quite some time and wanted a divorce. Now, I haven't asked her myself for obvious reasons, but I imagine that this was crushing, devastating, infuriating, rage inducing, and harrowing to Ginger. They had been married for 3-4 years and she had no idea of his infidelities until he just laid it on her. Luckily they didn't have any children together.

So, Ginger's need of a good friend, and Gordo's need of a good friend and wholesome companionship worked out extremely well. Over time their bond has just deepened. Gordo has told me more than once that he has never hung out with a member of the opposite sex that he could just sit and talk to until all wee hours of the morning. Someone with whom he could share stimulating conversation and who shared so many of the same interests. Someone with whom he was at home with. It is quite obvious when Vesper and I hang out with them that if Ginger wasn't in the middle of a divorce they would be together. They really care for each other, a lot. But, since they aren't down with any degree of adultery they are sticking hard to their friendship game plan until after the divorce is finalized.

(Ginger with her mama)

So, this brings us back to the million dollar question. Vesper and I have discussed this but to no avail. How long should Gordo and Ginger wait after her divorce is official (August 15th) to become romantically involved? The letter of the law states 2.5 seconds after the court makes the divorce official they are free since she is free. But I have to imagine that social pressure may dictate otherwise. Yet, she has been estranged from her ex-hubby 9 months and her and Gordo have cultivated their bond for close to 4. How long will it take her parents to be okay with another man? I frankly have no idea. All of this discussion could be a moot point if, regardless of all of the signs, she is not ready for a romantic relationship. But, since they spend just about every free moment together and unconsciously do lots of leaning together, innocent hand / arm touching, and other couple-like things I don't feel that's the case. I guess only time will tell.

(Ah to be young and ignorant of the vicissitudes of life. From left to right; Daddy Gordo, Mama Gordo, Gawain, Gordo, Coach B)

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